Monday, May 27, 2024

Robert Pattinson Without Vampire Teeth? Box Office Poison So Far


Robert Pattinson, overhyped and cuckolded, comes to New York on Monday to promote David Cronenberg’s “Cosmopolis.” Is he a star, an actor or a celebrity? I’d say choice number 3 by the looks of things. Outside of the phenomenon known as “Twilight,” Pattinson is a stiff at the box office. In June he starred in “Bel Ami.” The total take? $120, 462. The film was a total write off even though it made $7 million abroad.

The excruciating “Water for Elephants” preceded “Bel Ami.” It made $117 million around the world including the U.S. This was a fraction of the “Twilight” dough. Pattinson did nothing to bring in his fans. “Remember Me” came before “Elephants.” The US total was $19 million. Again, no sign of ardent fans at the popcorn stand.

“Cosmopolis” is not one of Cronenberg’s best. I suppose after “A History of Violence,” “Eastern Promises,” and “A Dangerous Method.” he could be a little burnt out. Three great films in a row. You knew “Cosmopolis” was bad when it was chosen to close Cannes this year. It’s a dubious distinction to close a festival. Everyone’s gone home, the press has already picked their favorites, and the party is over.

Pattinson now comes with a full set of matching baggage, too. Because he’s been part of a live soap opera all summer, the press and media have been banned from attending the premiere Monday night. R-Patz will grunt his way along the red carpet, answering nothing while screaming girls scream at him, hoping for a sign of vampire teeth. They will not see “Cosmopolis” either out of boredom or because their parents won’t let them. Critics are already drawing more blood than Taylor Lautner at midnight. “Cosmopolis” has a 66% rating on, falling faster than the stock market on a bad day.


Roger Friedman
Roger Friedman
Roger Friedman began his Showbiz411 column in April 2009 after 10 years with Fox News, where he created the Fox411 column. His movie reviews are carried by Rotten Tomatoes, and he is a member of both the movie and TV branches of the Critics Choice Awards. His articles have appeared in dozens of publications over the years including New York Magazine, where he wrote the Intelligencer column in the mid 90s and covered the OJ Simpson trial, and Fox News (when it wasn't so crazy) where he covered Michael Jackson. He is also the writer and co-producer of "Only the Strong Survive," a selection of the Cannes, Sundance, and Telluride Film festivals, directed by DA Pennebaker and Chris Hegedus.

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