You’ll be happy to know that Madonna has finished — Diablo Cody — the screenplay about her life. It came in at 133 pages, or as she says in a video posted to Instagram, the age of Jesus at his death plus 100. “The ups and downs, ins and outs, highs and lows,” as she describes it. Then she belches.
Screenplays are generally thought to run one minute per page, meaning Madonna’s life story, which we’ve experience in very real time, would last two hours and 13 minutes on screen, not counting musical numbers. Madonna plans to direct the movie, which maybe should be a miniseries or a limited series. Cody quips at the length that it’s “like Gone with the Wind.”
The 3 min video is more entertaining than new Madonna single has been in 20 years.