Best laugh of the weekend: a Brit tabloid’s assertion that Macaulay Culkin is the biological father of Blanket, Michael Jackson’s youngest child.

Are they kidding? This is as preposterous as Mark Lester being Paris’s father.

In each case, there isn’t even a slight hint of physical similarity. Forget that Culkin is blond and blue eyed, and that Blanket is dark and possibly Latino.

It makes no difference to the British press!

We can only imagine the laugh Culkin, who lives in New York’s West Village with his girlfriend, must have gotten.

Who’s next to be revealed as a bio parent of a Jackson child? Eggs from Tatum O’Neal? Sperm from Bubbles the Chimp?

As I’ve reported since 2005, Blanket is the product of Michael Jackson’s biological matter and a surrogate mother. The surrogate was chosen from a catalogue of names presented to Jackson by none other than Dr. Arnold Klein. Neither Dr. Klein, Mark Lester, Macaulay Culkin, nor Topo Gigio is the father.

Author
Roger Friedman began his Showbiz411 column in April 2009 after 10 years with Fox News, where he created the Fox411 column. His movie reviews are carried by Rotten Tomatoes, and he is a member of both the movie and TV branches of the Critics Choice Awards. His articles have appeared in dozens of publications over the years including New York Magazine, where he wrote the Intelligencer column in the mid 90s and covered the OJ Simpson trial, and Fox News (when it wasn't so crazy) where he covered Michael Jackson. He is also the writer and co-producer of "Only the Strong Survive," a selection of the Cannes, Sundance, and Telluride Film festivals, directed by DA Pennebaker and Chris Hegedus.

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