Home Movies “London Fields” — The Really Awful Film with Johnny Depp and Amber...

It’s hard to believe, but Matthew Cullen’s very awful “London Fields” is coming to a near theatre all of us this August.

This is the film based on Martin Amis’s bestselling novel. Amber Heard stars as Nicola Six. Amber’s ex husband, Johnny Depp, is featured but not credited on the film poster. They met began their affair just before the movie started, and married when it was finished. The short marriage was as dreadful, evidently, as the film.

Shot in 2013, “London Fields” was supposed to screen at the 2015 Toronto Film Festival, but was pulled when lawsuits broke out over just how bad it was. Still, some critics saw it. They’re still being attended to (just kidding).

Director Cullen sued the producers, who’d taken the film away from him and re-cut it to try and make sense of the whole thing. (Cullen was asked to re-submit new versions but never did, according to reports.) According to a 2015 review in The Guardian, nothing worked in the producers’ resuscitation.

Theo James, Cara deLevigne, Jim Sturgess and Billy Bob Thornton co-star. Martin Cullen makes an inauspicious feature film directorial debut after transitioning from music videos. He’s very nice. I met him at the Spirit Awards this year. He lent me his wrist band so I could go use the Porta-Potty.

It seems like Marc Urman’s Paladin Films has the honor of distribution.

 Here’s the trailer, which is considered Not Suitable for Viewing at Work or in a Public Place:

 

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