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The Glamorous Life: Audra McDonald Has Six Tony Awards, But Her Dog and Her Kid Are Out of Control

Audra McDonald has a record six Tony Awards. Yet, she posted this to Instagram and it’s a hoot. Where are the nannies and dog handlers when you need them? Broadway’s not what it used to be. This is hilarious:

“I was bringing my screaming tired baby into her bedroom for a nap. When we walked into the bedroom we discovered that the dog had crapped all over the floor. I put the screaming baby in the crib and tried to clean up the poop then came back for the baby I put her back down on the floor after I cleaned up the poop and proceeded to tidy up the room when I realize that she was playing in what looked like a yellow river on her floor that’s when I realized the dogs had also peed on the floor and the baby was now playing in it. I ran the baby out of the bedroom to the bathroom to try and wash her hands and while I was running her to the bathroom she proceeded to put both of her hands dripping in dog urine…into her mouth. I then lost it and called my mom screaming “come over please help me! The baby! Dog poop! Fucking dogs! Dog pee!” Mom ran over and cleaned the mess while I tried to disinfect the baby in the tub. After a while she seemed clean enough to take her out of the bath tub. I pull her out of the tub & am wrapping her in a towel when she…wait for it…pees on me.”

 

I was bringing my screaming tired baby into her bedroom for a nap. When we walked into the bedroom we discovered that the dog had crapped all over the floor. I put the screaming baby in the crib and tried to clean up the poop then came back for the baby I put her back down on the floor after I cleaned up the poop and proceeded to tidy up the room when I realize that she was playing in what looked like a yellow river on her floor that’s when I realized the dogs had also peed on the floor and the baby was now playing in it. I ran the baby out of the bedroom to the bathroom to try and wash her hands and while I was running her to the bathroom she proceeded to put both of her hands dripping in dog urine…into her mouth. I then lost it and called my mom screaming “come over please help me! The baby! Dog poop! Fucking dogs! Dog pee!” Mom ran over and cleaned the mess while I tried to disinfect the baby in the tub. After a while she seemed clean enough to take her out of the bath tub. I pull her out of the tub & am wrapping her in a towel when she…wait for it…pees on me. [1]

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