Home Movies Movies: A Memorial Day Box Office In Memoriam as “Baywatch,” “Pirates” Flop

The good news for Disney is that “Pirates of the Caribbean” has made $270 worldwide. The bad news is that in this country, very few people cared. The domestic total for three (really four) days is $62 million. The opening weekend take in 2011 for the last “Pirates” movie was $90 million. You do the math.

In 2011, “Pirates 4” was in its second week on Memorial Day weekend. The number 1 movie for the holiday was “The Hangover 2.” It made $85 million. You do the math.

Franchise movies– endless sequels no one cares about, made for the money only — are coming to an end. This is their “Twilight,” so to speak. A whole generation of moviegoers is wiped out on the cynicism of it all. In the case of “Pirates,” the enervating feel of more of the same swashbuckling is combined with knowing you gave Johnny Depp all that money so he could squander it on crap and a bad short marriage.

Meanwhile, Paramount has to deal with “Baywatch” the way Warners lived with “CHiPS.” Why are we making movies out of terrible TV? There must be a few good ideas out there. “Baywatch” brought home $18 million this weekend. It cost, they say, $69 million. We’ll say $80 million. Still water, not waves, killed it. I’m not sure I’ll ever watch it on an airplane.

The next month brings “Wonder Woman,” “The Mummy,” another “Transformers” movie, and another “Spider Man” Movie. It all seems underwhelming…

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