The Oscars will stay on ABC through 2028 according to an overnight announcement. That is, if there are still movies, and there is still ABC.

In the event those things are still around, Blue Ivy Knowles-Carter and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt will host the show from a space station on the new “other Earth” recently discovered. Ryan Seacrest will accept the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award. Spike Lee’s kids will be guest producers.

Other Governor’s Awards will go to Michael Bay, Madonna, and the people behind “The Blair Witch Project.”

I cannot wait.

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