What the heck is happening? IN the time it took to have a family dinner and watch “Downton Abbey,” three volatile public figures have all imploded at the same. Alec Baldwin tells New York Magazine that he hates everyone and is leaving town. Sean Parker, played by Justin Timberlake in “The Social Network,” rails against the New York Post because they picked up a negative story about him, and Piers Morgan is leaving CNN– or they’ve left him.
I’ll start with Parker, who lives a quarter of a block from me in Greenwich Village. I don’t know whether he actually got Verizon FIOS wired to his house and I don’t care. But several days ago, with snow everywhere on our street, traffic came to a halt. A white truck parked near Parker’s $20 million carriage house was the culprit. Further, snow was being removed from our side of the street starting with his house, going toward Fifth Avenue.
There was chaos, too, because there was a garbage truck stuck behind the FIOS van. We live on a narrow block. When traffic backs up into Sixth Avenue, the horns start blaring. I don’t know if Sean Parker’s living in that huge house with its own garage, or renovating it. But I can tell you, he’s been the least discreet neighbor I’ve seen in 30 years. Even when Ronald Reagan Jr. and his wife moved in, along with the Secret Service, there wasn’t this much hubbub.
Then comes Piers Morgan. He tells the New York Times he’s done with CNN, and that America didn’t appreciate him. I could never get through one of his shows. He had no feel for America, or Hollywood, or any of the people he was talking to. I never thought I’d miss Larry King so much. There was a time when you’d turn to Larry at 9pm automatically on a night when the news was popping. In his prime he was in the middle of everything. That’s what CNN needs at 9pm. They must get back to it. I’m sorry Piers Morgan is upset. It’s more emotion that he showed while had the program.
Alec Baldwin? Why he can’t just stuff roll off his back is a mystery to me. He’s the most thin skinned person in New York history. Paparazzi outside your house? Who cares? Someone tweets about your wife’s Tweets? Stop tweeting. We lived without Twitter for a long time. Stop picking fights. He can’t do it. Everything is an argument. Regular people do not care about these things. So he gave away $14 million to charity. OK. You didn’t have to. We’ll send a thank you note.
You know, he’s funny, he’s very talented. He doesn’t have to shout at people in the streets. Alec, go to L.A. Go live in Connecticut, in Greenwich. A lot of celebs live there. For god’s sake, Lady Gaga, Woody Allen, and Yoko Ono live on Central Park, and they manage to live life without this much drama. Madonna, Tony Bennett, Liam Neeson, all seem to go about their business. On Sunday afternoon, Seth Meyers was walking his dog down my block. A couple of people came up and congratulated him on the new “Late Show.” He smiled, shook hands and moved on. So easy.