Thursday, March 28, 2024

Twelve: Gossip Girls Type Movie is Less than Zero

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Is it really time for the release of “Twelve”? The Joel Schumacher mistake is probably the worst movie of 2010.

At the Sundance Film Festival last January, most of the press walked out of the screening, either from disgust or anger, long before the film finished.

It’s “Gossip Girl” without wit or coherence.

That TV show’s Chace Crawford, with his eyebrows, plays a drug dealer on New York’s Upper East Side who caters to rich kids. And from how the movie reads, all the rich kids on the Upper East Side are doing drugs, having wild sex, and partying like it’s 1999.

I can’t even imagine what the audience at last night’s “Cinema Society” screening thought while they were strapped into their seats. (“Cinema Society” gets all the really good movies.) A low end (no pun intended ) underwear company had to sponsor the event.

I’ve tried to block most of “Twelve”–it’s the ame of a drug the whole gang wants, like Ecstasy but better– from my memory. But I do recall that Kiefer Sutherland narrates the film like he’s in “Dragnet.” And Emma Roberts, Julia’s niece, is the so called heroine.

“Twelve” is really just a bad version of “Less Than Zero,” some 25 years later, without even Robert Downey Jr.

No one wanted “Twelve” at Sundance, so its distributor is the curiously misspelled Hannover House. On their website they brag about once having published a book distastefully called “Blood, Money and Power: How LBJ killed JFK.” You get the picture. Yuck.

Roger Friedman
Roger Friedmanhttps://www.showbiz411.com
Roger Friedman began his Showbiz411 column in April 2009 after 10 years with Fox News, where he created the Fox411 column. His movie reviews are carried by Rotten Tomatoes, and he is a member of both the movie and TV branches of the Critics Choice Awards. His articles have appeared in dozens of publications over the years including New York Magazine, where he wrote the Intelligencer column in the mid 90s and covered the OJ Simpson trial, and Fox News (when it wasn't so crazy) where he covered Michael Jackson. He is also the writer and co-producer of "Only the Strong Survive," a selection of the Cannes, Sundance, and Telluride Film festivals, directed by DA Pennebaker and Chris Hegedus.
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